NT Chicken:
Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

OS/2 Chicken:
It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

Win 95 Chicken:
You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like … chicken.

Microsoft Chicken™:
It’s already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

OOP Chicken:
It doesn’t need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken:
First it builds the road …

C Chicken:
It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken:
The chicken wouldn’t have to cross the road, you’d simply refer to him on the other side.

VB Chicken:
PublicHighway!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

Delphi Chicken:
The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Java Chicken:
If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)

Web Chicken:
Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken:
Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Newton Chicken:
Can’t cluck, can’t fly, and can’t lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!

Cray Chicken:
Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don’t dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Quantum Logic Chicken:
The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

Lotus Chicken:
Don’t you dare try to cross the road the same way we do!

Mac Chicken:
No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there’s no way to tell it to.

Internet Chicken:
Looks for router chicken, who directs it to another router chicken, then to another, to another then back to router chicken no.1, with all the eggs in IP packets.

Smalltalk Chicken:
It inherits the crossroad:side: method from the Fowl Superclass.

Forth Chicken:
road cross chicken dup

Lisp Chicken:
It only crosses parenthetical roads.

HTML Chicken:
It uses an animated GIF to show a car on the road with the chicken alternating from side to side without getting hurt.

COBOL Chicken:
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING