Aleeya dotNet

Have you ever run into a computer or internet problem where you have no choice but to call a tech support hotline?

The idea of picking up that phone and calling into someone helping you with your computer - whether you are a beginner with computers and do not even care about learning them (you just want it Fixed!) or even those who are computer experts Dread! even thinking about having to call tech support.

The following is a list of some of the things you just do not want that tech support person to say… and it may make you even want to reach through that phone and strangle someone!

• Let’s start by rebooting your computer
• You still run that Operating system? Even Microsoft does not still support that!
• Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?
• Was this soda already spilt on here?
• Do have a heavy door you need held open?
• …That’s right, not even McGyver could fix it.
• It is time to upgrade anyway.
• So — what are you wearing?
• Duuuuuude!  Bummer!
• You ought to get a new computer while the prices are the lowest in years.
• When was the last time you reformatted your hardrive?
• Looks like you’re gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap’n.
• Press 1 for Support, Press 2 if you’re with 60 Minutes, Press 3 if you’re with the FTC.
• We can fix this, but you’re gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery.
• I’m sorry, Dave.  I’m afraid I can’t do that.
• Did you say you use Windows?
• No, Windows Office is not an Operating system
• In layman’s terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.
• Do you have any kids? A ten year old? Would you put him on the phone?
• Where is your windows cd?
• Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics.
• What do you want first, the bad news, or how much it will cost?
• Did you find the ANY key on your keyboard yet?

And finally the number one answer you do not want to hear from tech support:

• Ok, put your computer back into the box it came in. Take it back to the store and tell them you do not deserve a computer